Healer Heal Thyself!

It was a great day in the history of my days, walking through my son’s school in mid autumn with my daughter and family friend’s son trailing behind, without warning I was sucked to the ground. BAM! Instinct kicked in and hands hit sidewalk, knees hit sidewalk and so much pain went shooting through my body I couldn’t breathe. Right ankle and foot are roaring, screaming and there is absolutely no breath in me, no way to call for help. Our friend’s son who has autistic spectrum disorder freaks out and bolts screaming with his hands in the air. Still unable to speak, I signal my daughter to go fetch. She obediently responds. Alone, on the ground I try to force my body to breathe as another young man with some sort of special needs who was crossing between classrooms at just the right time, sees my distress and begins pacing the sidewalk around me chanting repeatedly, “I am an eagle scout and need to help you, I am an eagle scout and need to help you, I am an eagle scout and need to help you…”.
By the grace of God, a teacher’s aide notices me through a window and comes outside and sends the ever helpful eagle scout away. The best question was, “are you okay?” Well, let me assess the situation, in the over all scheme of things, okay is a relative term. I am not dead, my children are all fine, I am not living in a war zone and am blessed to have a warm, dry house and food to eat. I am in a shit load of pain and can not seem to stand which then seems to lower the standard of relative “okayedness”. My final answer is: no, not okay at the moment. He stands there waiting for me to rise from the sidewalk which seems to have a strange magnetic pull to my body and finally realizes, I can not get up. Oh great, I’m like the lady in the ‘80’s commercial…say it with me, “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up”. Just what I need, life-alert. Isn’t that what that commercial was for?
As he offers his hand, I bravely grab hold and fight the magnetic curse of the sidewalk to standing position. Then comes the real test, can I step down on my screaming foot with any semblance of grace? I reach it forward just a bit and begin to apply body weight. Oh mother of God, NO! That is not going to work. Another teacher has now come out and is so kind to run and get me ice. As ice is applied, there are interesting remarks of the many colors my foot is turning and the strange shape it is swelling into. There are offers to take me to the emergency room but I have three children in my care, I am an hour from my home, my friend is in the hospital getting surgery and I have been entrusted with the care of her son who has been dutifully fetched by my daughter, so…no emergency room until I get home and figure things out with these children. I must drive home with this foot on the gas and break pedal. It was a very very long drive home.
I did finally go to the emergency room thanks to the help of friends and family. My foot was found to be a bad sprain with having ripped the ligaments on the top and having torn a tendon round the heal and to the inner side. I was supposed to stay off of it for two weeks and most definitely not work. All wonderful for those who have health insurance, sick days, etc but I am among the uninsured and self employed needing to keep the bread coming in to feed the family not to mention that if I don’t work, my clients go elsewhere. So, I gave myself about five days of frustrated care then began working again on crutches or propped on a rolly stool and rolling all over the place. It was a very painful recovery and it took months to get out of pain.
I have examined the reason for my fall, other than bad shoes, and have been told by natural healers that it is linked to my fear of failure, fear of success, fear of moving forward and so on. An on-going theme in my life is fear of not being enough so this was not a big leap for me. I have blessed and meditated on this subject and my life waxes and wanes with understanding and flow. The right foot, however, seems to re-emerge as a problem despite my addressing of it spiritually.
During last fall I was forced to move in a short time and during the exhaustion, packing and stress of it all, the foot fired up again. I don’t know if it was climbing step ladders, carrying heavy boxes, plain exhaustion or all the fear of moving a family and business but my foot was pissed. Swelling, use of ankle braces and advil became my mode of function. Once settled, I babied it and rested and iced and massaged gently. It really took it’s time to release the pain. Yes, I kept working, of course. Please note previous statement about needing to bring in the bread, baby! From then on, it seems to get better for a short time and then from deep inside my foot whilst doing a pilates move or during a massage or even going on tip toe to clean a mirror I hear and feel something as if someone were strumming a bass violin string deep in my foot. BAM! The pain is incredible and the swelling ritual begins. I have tried to push through, ignore, wrap, ice and so on but it really just does it’s thing in it’s own damned time.
Well, I have had enough of this. I work with rehabilitation all the time and I KNOW that I have just got to dig in there and find it and rip through it. Yup, it is a horrible truth but this is my new approach. At the end of the day I warmed my hands up, stretched them got some lotion and dug in. I worked my poor foot like it has never been worked before. What a strange sensation to be causing so much intense pain on one’s self. Oh my head, what pain! I got through several crunchy layers of lactic acid and scar tissue. When I find these things on my clients I can get very obsessed with wanting to rip through it because I know that if I do and they can take the intensity, they will feel better. It was sort of a twisted experience to obsess and hurt all at the same time. It sort of made noises like this, “Aaaaaaaggghhh…ooooooooo….aow…oh…AOW…huh…” and so on. My foot turned into mush.
Pain, tingles, more pain and swelling was the result of my obsessive work. The next day, yes I continued to work, I iced and babied. The day after that, I had movement again. No, really, I could move it way better. I could go on tippy toe, I could move from side to side, I could pronate and supinate my foot without hearing and feeling any strumming. What a friggin lesson. Pain and fear need to be dealt with head on. Dig in! I mean DIG in. Rip it, make it hurt, make it stink but don’t let up until there is nothing left to dig through. It will hurt and it will suck but it will break down the pain, the scar tissue, the damage and then it can be truly rebuilt and rehabilitated. Not just poor stupid foot but poor stupid me, too. Ugh, dig in. Stretch the fingers, warm up the hands and work on in to strip, dig, rip and release what is no longer needed and is holding me back from my true forward movement. My goal is to run again, without pain. Of course, I don’t just mean the foot.

Why Stretch

I have so many clients who come in with back pain, shoulder pain, knee pain and more and I ask one simple question, "Do you stretch?" and I am astounded that the majority answer "no." WHAT?! When we move, exercise, sit, drive, our muscles are contracting. As we grow older, muscles tighten. How can stretching not be automatically something your body desires. Every morening when I get up, I stretch my body. I stretch my body to increase the circulation to help me wake up. My dog stretches his body to increase his circulation and mobility. After a massage, I come out and stretch my arms, my back and my wrists in order to release my muscles and keep them healthy so that I can keep doing this work for many many years.

I show my clients stretches and releasing postures but the next time they come in, they admit to not doing any of the stretches. I honestly do not understand. I want people to feel better, it's inherent in the obsessive quality of my work, but I can only do so much. I am happy to massage, bowen, instruct the pilates and yoga time and time again but the path to healing is in self empowerement. I can not fix what one does not want to heal. I can only help my clients facilitate their own healing. They come back to me time and again with the same pain or spasm in their body and I help them identify and release what is willing to release at that moment but our bodies are leaving my space and going back into the environment that caused that spasm, knot or tension.

Stretching has been proven to help with flexibility, mobility of joints, circulation, stress relief and more pain reduction. Who doesn't want any one of those things. I know that I want to be moving and grooving for a long long time and can only ask that if you want to keep moving forward, with flexibility, health and less or no pain then please stretch your mind, stretch your time to find a few minutes a day to stretch your body!!! If you do not know of good stretches, then please please ask and I will be more then happy to take some time and work with you. Your health and wellness is my business. :)

Vacation in Mind, Body & Spirit-less on gas!

It seems that everything has gotten more challenging just in time for summer. It's not like we didn't all see this coming but it was sort of like watching a train wreck in slow motion. Now summer is upon us and travel plans have to be re-thought due to gas prices, food prices, everything has gone up and up. Boy, don't I know it! As I commute my son to his school 45 minutes away every day, nobody is more aware of the cost of travel right now. Whew! So, what are our options. We live in a beautiful community so why not enjoy what we have right here? Colfax is bordered by the Bear River, The American River and Rollins Lake. We have camp grounds, a hotel, a couple of Bed & Breakfast places like the Rose Mountain Manor that are ready and waiting to nurture and care for anyone willing to rest and be fed well. Why not take a vacation day and just be with the family or by yourself and go listen to the water burble down the river?

I get very caught up in summer with juggling working and being with my children. So often the simple juggling act can be come so stressful we forget to enjoy being together. I suppose that is the true benefit of "getting away" and vacationing but practicality has it that if we really tried, we could do it right here at home. Nobody has to pack a suitcase or do extra work or spend extra money. Limit or cease the cell phone for a day or two and go on vacation. And if you want a massage to help you relax or some yoga or pilates to help release and regenerate your body then we can help make your vacation a great relief in mind, body and Spirit. Saving on gas and expenses will only help you relax more, recover quicker and be better for our environment in the long run.

Thoughts on Karma

I have recently had great inclinations to explore the concept of karma. It’s funny how life allows these lessons to surface and re-surface offering adventuresome thoughts and curiosity. I wonder why bad things happen or at least what I would consider uncomfortable or bad situations occur and I have come to the conclusion that if these things did not hit me in the face I might be so dull that I would never change or grow or expand my understandings. It is a bit of a perverted way to find gratitude for the down side of life but it works for me. I have a tendency to be thick in the head and I think Spirit needs to smack me head on once in awhile so that I question the world around me in order to further my experience and understanding. Imagine if life was hunky dory all the time I would become very complacent and comfortable and probably a lot thicker.
So recently I have had to face some situations that make me question Karma. As is typical human nature, I first point fingers at the people I believe responsible for the “bad” part of the situation whether it be ex-husbands, school officials, county workers, whomever, they get my blame first and I question the Karma of these folks. Sometimes it helps me forgive or pity them instead of engage in anger because it is my understanding that Karma is the effect of everything we do being put out into the Universe affecting our past, present and future and our loved ones. I explain it to my children as anything you do, say or put out comes back to you tenfold. Believe me, that can stop a sibling battle for all of three seconds as they contemplate it and move on with new tactics just as ridiculous but now fraught with, “but they did it!”
So, when these people I have recently struggled with put out “bad” behavior or at least act in ways that I could not fathom or ethically agree with, I think of their karma. What they are doing will come back and smack them in the butt ten times harder. Really, it makes me feel better. I get into my lovely lower mind and think, “Ha, ha, God is going to kick your butt!” and I imagine all these wonderful ways that God might find opportunity to accomplish this task. I even offer to help Spirit fulfill this effort of karmic balance. I mean, wouldn’t that be fun?
Then I realize that I am putting out my own karma. I suddenly feel like Linus in “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown” when he realized he said the word “if”. What have I done?! What kind of Karma am I putting out there? Ack! Now I am hoping for Karma to avenge me. Who do I think I am? Have I lost all of my humility and allowed my ego to take over? Just what am I allowing these people to take from me anyway? Oh boy, now I have done it! Wayne Dwyer says that he heard the ego described as edging out God-E…G…O. I think maybe I haven’t edged God out completely, I was just willing my own fate on those from whom I feel wronged and being a willing servant to help dispurse justice. But in that statement alone, haven’t I assigned my self as judge? Wow! What Moxy I have in God’s shoes! Let me just step my little feet out of those shoes and let go now.
What others do is between them and God. What I do is between me and God. What we do to, for and with each other is affecting our relationship between us and the Universe. While it is fun to fantasize about someone who has acted in my opinion unethical or heartless as coming back in another life time as a cockroach, the fantasy alone is Karma. So, what can I do? What power do I have? When I feel wronged or rendered powerless and I want to take control, spite or at least fantasize about slapping someone with at least some karmic justice, what can I do? Ugh…all I can do is pray. I can surround that person with golden light and myself with golden light and just pray. Release my ego from it and have faith. Give it to God and know that God is in charge. The Universe has Divine order. As they say in the Spike Lee film, “Step off!” Walk away and turn the other cheek.
Oh it is hard sometimes. My human journey has given me such great opportunities to feed my ego and great desire to disperse justice in the world. Maybe I need to use prayer, meditation or the laws of attraction to bring in opportunity to be done with that lesson, now. I can grow past it and no longer attract those situations into my life. Then I keep my Karma cleaner and focused on myself. That feels better for everyone. I feel better and it truly is all about me, you know. And in that light, I can be clearer in my intuition, my connection with Spirit and wiser in my further interactions. Knowing that all things are in Divine order and God is driving, I can surround myself with the Golden light of God’s vehicle and ease on down the road enjoying the scenery and open with curiosity about what comes next. Hopefully, a little less thick in the head.

All I Need to Know About Self Care, My Cats Taught Me

Soon after my children and I moved to the west coast, we acquired two cats. The first cat we brought to our new home was at the rescue for a long time before she found us. Apparently, seeming high maintenance with her long hair and "princess like" attitude, nobody wanted to adopt her. The second cat we acquired several months later more by her insistence then ours. She was only eight months old and would not let my children go when we met her. I did not realize the lessons that these cats could offer me.
At first, it seemed that Mandy, the long haired cat, was too prissy for me. She was always cleaning herself and somewhat stand offish. The younger cat, Felina, was a wild woman. She was fun to play with and entertaining to watch. She could not stand being indoors for too long. She had a world to see and it was all her play land. The kids enjoyed Felina and she grew biger and bigger. Felina has become quite a handful over the years. She is an incredible hunter and is constantly bringing us gifts of lizards, birds, frogs, bugs and very big live snakes. She never comes when you call her, has a tendency to fight with the neighborhood cats to her own detriment. She is also fixated on food.
Mandy is somewhat stand offish as originally thought. She is constantly maintaining her hair and appearance. Mandy hates to go outside for too long, just long enough to do what is neessary, get some fresh air and return to the comforts of indoors. She has learned our daily rhythyms and rituals and knows when to be near the food dish. The on unexpected thing about Mandy is her tendency to care for others when they really need it. I call Mandy our nurse kitty because if ever a child runs a fever or hurts themselves, she is always right next to them and will not leave until they are better.
What I have learned in watching these cats is that Felina is of the lower mind. She is all for the immediate pleasure and fun but is not there when really needed. Her obsessions rule her life. Mandy has learned proper self care in order to have the proper energy to care for those around her. She has learned how to present herself and how to find the benefits of rhythym in her family. She enjoys watching the children and has her playful moments but never completely loses herself beyond retrieval as does her younger feline counterpart. More importantly, Mandy has learned that it is okay to ask to be loved and it is okay to take time to herself.
I adore these cats and enjoy watching the extremes of these lessons unfold every day, except for when Felina brings me snakes to play with. I am wondering if it isn't amusing to her to watch me scream and jump on chairs but isn't this how the selfish lower mind is truly entertained? Thank goodness Mandy is always ready to help calm me down and ground me by sitting in my lap and purring until my heart rate returns to normal.

Heart Ur NME

I have a dear friend who has "heart ur nme" on her license plate. This friend is a Christian woman, like minded with me in so many ways and I respect her very much. I think her license plate is gutsy and cool.

I have had a great opportunity to practice the concept of loving one's enemy as of late. I was told by a client that, according to the Mayan Calender, there is a time where the light is less, at present, and the darkness is allowed to re-surface. Boy is it! I have definitely heard from clients that there are dark shadows re-emerging in their lives and there are definitely dark shadows rearing their ugly heads in my life.

One of those shadows was quite powerful and used to dominate my life. I am so happy to realize that it "used to" but it does not anymore. At first I was angry that it re-surfaced and re-awakened such intense fear from within me but now I am actually grateful that it has come back so that I could finish the lesson it was teaching me. The lesson was simple to understand but very hard to get. I'll tell you the lesson first: If I am not open to receiving that energy of fear and insanity, then it actually can not come into my energy. When I figured this out, it was like as if every pore of my body that was once open to receiving this darkness simply filled up with golden light and there was no more room to receive the negative energy. It simply had no where to go and consequently, I felt safer then I ever had before and somehow, more in my body and my energy. I no longer allowed my fear to control me. Then I worked on blessing the source of the fear.

Yup, here's where the license plate comes into my consciousness. Love my enemy. Well, if you work on that concept alone, I prayed for this source of fear and insanity from my past. It is an actual person which made it easy to direct my prayer towards "something". In this specific case, I thought of how sad it is that this person was seemingly incapable of the same level of emotion and ability to engage in life in a positive way that heals not only the self but the many. I know that directing my love, not my anger, fear or resentment, is the only way to diminish his darkness. Darkness can not live in the light. (that might even be a quote from Harry Potter, lol) Feeling fear, anger, resentment and more only feed not only his power of darkness in my life but his own darkness in his life. I didn't cause his situation, I can't fix it or cure it, nor can I control it, but I can send love through prayer and meditation.

I have also struggled with the practical side of this which is demonstrated above. I do not need to contact this source of darkness directly. I can stay in my own positive space and energy and simply pray and meditate in love and light. I do not need to make contact in order to send love. This person does not need to know on a conscious level what my response to their darkness will be, on an unconscious level or even a Spirit level, I am sure they know.

Here's the last part of the license plate contemplation: if you read the license plate literally, it is a heart symbol followed by ur nme. It is fine to acknowledge the heart symbol meaning love. Then let's look at the abreviation for "your" as u r. But what if we take that literally to mean "you are" as by the pronunciation of the letters "u" and "r". Am I my enemy? The nme when pronounced by the sound of the letters clearly says "enemy" so if I apply that to the "ur" I must contemplate the whole formula as such. Love you are enemy. In doing so, I move back to my original point of this post.

It is my receptiveness to this person's fear and darkness that allows it to be in my life and have any power over me at all. I am my own enemy. My Love, My Light and my weakness in staying in those spaces and opening and receiving this particular stream of darkness is truly my enemy. What if I simply was no longer receptive to that fear and insanity? What if I treated it like a foreign language that I used to speak fluently but haven't in decades and therefore, I acknowledge it, understand it is a language I don't speak anymore, seems familiar but I don't need to interpret it in my head and consequently let it go. I have nothing against anyone speaking that language, I can smile and be kind to them and know what language they speak, but I don't need to engage in conversation in that language or interpret it into my own life. They are not the enemy for speaking that language. This dark shadow energy within this other person is not my enemy. They are going through their own journey, struggling and such. Somewhere we agreed to struggle together and I invited their energy into my energy. If anything, I can offer love and compassion because I know what it is like to struggle with that darkness. Here's the great part, I chose to move on.

First I moved on physically and changed my physical circumstances so as not to be around that energy. Then I let it go mentally. Finally emotionally it started to just seep away. This experience brought it literally screaming back into my life and it rattled me to the core but I also noticed how I had changed and this energy in my life no longer felt comfortable, like clothes that wore out and no longer felt or looked good on me. This is no longer part of who I am physically, mentally or spiritually.

Taking the license plate just one more step. Love you are in me. Yes, that is in me and I can move on with my journey. Everyone is in me and in each of us love. What we chose to see, adore, be irritated by, fear, cherish and nurture within is in each of us. What do we chose to receive today?

Interview with Life/Career Coach, Kathy Ogburn

Beth: Tell me the difference between a Life Coaching and Career Counseling?
Kathy: A career coach specializes in career development and includes life components but the focus is on career. Career coaching also includes very practical how-to steps. It is methodical and structured. It includes career exploration for options, and job search skills, so, resume writing, networking, interviewing, negotiating; basically, matching natural talents to the right job. Life coaching is really bigger. It is like being a personal trainer in self actualization. Life Coaching helps people to integrate their spiritual, emotional and physical selves. It is about integrating all of those aspects into their being, for the purpose of living more fully-living more and loving more. Career coaching is more nuts & bolts, like practical steps; life coaching is heavily influenced by the teachings of the law of attraction and co-creating with the Universe.

Life coaching is big on self awareness. Learning about the capital “S”, the spiritual Self, increasing our awareness of how we are all part of the Infinite Source, we are all part of that big picture and we all have a tremendous amount of power. Life coaching is empowering and helps us to see more clearly what we want and what our choices are. It empowers us to take responsibility. Being coached helps us come to the realization that we don’t have to control things. We really don’t even want to control things. Once we let go of controlling, we are open and able to work with and be supported by the Universe. And can you see how blending life and career coaching could make big changes for people?

Beth: What made you decide to move into being a Life Coach?
Kathy: The great opportunity of working with clients not only in the career compartment of their lives but in all the other parts of their lives, whatever they are excited about, whatever they are agitated about. Life coaching is a great opportunity to work with people to heal and become super empowered, actually transformed.

Beth: What kind of clients do you work with and what sort of situations might they utilize your assistance?
Kathy: People who are stuck but not willing to stay stuck…People who are confused and want clarity …People who want focus for a project…People who need staying power…People who want answers. They may be in transition type situations, creating a change, adjusting to a change, could be big or small life changes. Clients have come to me for help for a multitude of reasons, for example: deciding whether or not to have a baby, relaxing into retirement after years of being productive/re-creating personal identities to match the slower years, deciding to buy a new or used car, managing the transition of a child leaving for college, brainstorming ideas and ways to manifest, setting goals and identifying action steps, deciding to go back to work after the youngest child entered kindergarten, feeling like everything is going really well except for..., entrepreneurial clients wanting help with how to balance personal life and business life, and the list goes on. Its about working to enhance the quality of life.

Beth: What has been the best part about doing your work?
Kathy: I actually get to witness clients become a lot happier. I guess it’s watching the growth. It’s just a total thrill seeing people recognize what they are all about and how powerful they are. Making changes for the better, little and big changes. This work is so full of little changes that end up meaning so much. People take more responsibility for their lives and they become so much more aware of making conscious choices. They know that they’re responsible for themselves, their lives, how they live it and what happens to them. Watching their attitudes change and expand.

Beth: How do you feel that your work is assisting people with healing?
Kathy: Healing their attitudes, especially healing their relationship with themselves and with others. Also, healing their relationship with God.

Beth: What drew you to work out of the space in Colfax, Bridges To Healing?
Kathy: I love Beth! Her generous spirit and her resourcefulness. I see her Center as having so much potential with what is being done there. Beth is very capable of bringing people together, those that heal and those that need healing, the learners and the teachers. To me, it truly is a center where there’s just a lot of building of self respect and self love and compassion for others through all the modalities that are there. I am very interested in yoga, psychic healing, body work, reiki and healing touch. People I have referred are blown away.

Beth: Where are you from originally?
Kathy: I’m a California native, born in the Bay area, grew up in Lodi. I moved to Sacramento for college and lived in that area until moving to Grass Valley.

Beth: What brought you to this area?
Kathy: I’ve been coming to Grass Valley since I was a child to visit family friends. As an adult, my husband and I would for the ambience and nature that is Nevada County. The big draw is the combination of living the country lifestyle and having cultural activities galore. It was always a dream of my husband’s and mine, since we first got together to build a house up in the foothills, out in the country, so it really is an actual life dream that we have fulfilled. We are living our dream!

Beth: Where did you train for life coaching work?
Kathy: The Coaches Training Institute which has been around for 15 years. They are the Cadillac of coaching schools. I believe that their teaching is influenced by both the practical and the spiritual.